I Have Been Washed, But Am Not Clean

(Spring 2007)

“I have been washed, but am not clean;
In me remain the fruits of death:
I breathe the very breath of sin
And struggle ‘gainst my fulsome flesh.

O God! Will you not pity me,
Who strives to serve your holy will?
Can I not hope to e’er be free
Of struggles with the fiends of hell?

Can I not hope, except my death,
In which you take me to Thy land
To e’er be free of my old flesh
That strives to pull me from Thy hand?

I know that I am justified,
And nothing in Your eyes can change
The status you have given me
But still this struggle, bitter cup,
I wish to pass away from me.

The worst is that I know you’re pained
When I deny the cross I claim,
By disobeying thy good law;
With filthy hands, I fall in shame.”

His speech thus closed, the servant fell
Upon his face before his King,
Who, rising from His golden throne,
Did raise the prostrate to his knee.

Then, bowing down upon His own,
The King close clasped the weeping man,
And wept Himself, the flowing tears
Commingling as they dropped upon their hands.

And then the servant glanced upon
His hands held in the King’s strong grasp;
As flowing o’er his fingers, tears
Behind them left a cleanséd path.

He saw the tears were red as blood
And were indeed, for as they cleansed
The filthy stains, they covered o’er
His flesh and salved his burning shame.

The servant cried the harder when
He saw this grace dispersed afresh
And clung the tighter to his Lord
In sorrow for his weakling flesh.

“O God, my God, I don’t deserve
To be forgiven yet again;
How could you love a wretch as I
Who stumbles on the smallest stone?”

The King would answer not, but clasped
Him closer; tears anew did fill
Their eyes, and silence reigned.
The servant lifted up his eyes
To meet his Lord’s, and then a smile
Rose on the servant’s lips as he
Did hear this word come from the King’s:
“Child.”

“Simon Peter said unto Him, ‘Lord, not my feet only, but also the hands and the head.’ Jesus said to him, ‘He that is washed, needeth not, save to wash his feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean...’” John 13:9, 10

“For ye have not received the Spirit of bondage, to fear again: but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15